I could say that it all began with my first encounter with a Playboy magazine when I was twelve years old. I could say that all throughout puberty there were regular encounters with such magazines. Unfortunately, they were available from all the male figures in my family. But I think the issue goes back even further than that.
Several years prior to my experience with pornography, my family moved to a small town in Iowa. We had lived on a farm with limited contact with neighbors only to move into a town where everybody knew each other’s business. It seemed like a good move at the time, and it probably was for everyone but me.
It didn’t happen immediately but within a relatively short time I became the butt of people’s jokes. I was perhaps an awkward child and it is possible that I brought on a lot of the trouble upon myself. From the first year in grade school, kids teased and ridiculed me. During those years there were very few teachers or adults that truly got involved for the child’s benefit. Unlike the culture in schools today, there wasn’t much training taking place or awareness involved in the area of bullying.
What happened didn’t affect me overnight. It took several years of berating but eventually I became isolated, somewhat of a recluse. I did have a friend at that school but he endured much of the same ridicule as I did.
What transpired over time affected me. It would eventually change my behavior, or at least be a catalyst. I acted out in unusual and harmful ways. I would end up lying and stealing on many occasions. It became so bad at times that when I was accused of arson, there was no one to believe that I was innocent, despite all my objections.
With my experience as a child, I think it’s quite possible that psychologically I was not in a good place when I first viewed pornography. It may have fed into my insecurities. It became, perhaps, a way to escape the realities of life and use sexual fantasies to fill a void. Without real male leadership, I was alone to deal with these emotions and strange feelings I was experiencing.
It may not be much different today. Kids all over the world are growing up with dysfunctional family units. Many children grow up in homes without any father present. Even if they are physically present, they’re absent in other ways. Too many have to muddle through childhood and adolescence and try to figure out stuff on their own. Even worse, now liberal schools with their perverted sexual agendas are pushing their form of sexual education on these children warping their minds and exacerbating the situation.
As bad as things started out for me as a child and having to deal with and sort through all the sexual perversion, I think children today are going to have it that much worse. With pornography readily available on smart phones, laptops, and other such gadgets, perversion is more accessible to a generation of impressionable minds more so than ever in history.
It’s fair to say that my beginnings didn’t start out well. I only pray that the generations of children growing up in our immoral culture are able to recognize and get help when they need it. Too many are going to go through experiences they’re not fully equipped to understand.
What about you? Do you have an unhealthy view of sex? Has pornography led you down a dark path in your life? Or do you know someone who is going through a problem with sexual immorality?
As Christians I hope we’re ready to deal with these issues. The church needs to be ready to identify and minister to these increasing problems. Unfortunately, these are problems that many in the church want to keep quiet and sweep under the rug. Pretend it’s not there. But just as Paul dealt with sexual perversion in his day, the church needs to be ready to deal with sexual perversion in ours. Men and women alike are going to need help when they begin to realize their sin. Let’s pray that the help will be there when it comes time for their healing and restoration.